First Acadia Trip Of The Year

    It was originally supposed to rain today like it always does on my days off but the showers ended up getting pushed back until tonight so we made our first trip of the year to Acadia. The park loop road just opened a week ago as did the carriage roads which opens up all of our hiking options.

    I woke up at 8:30 and started getting ready, loading up my pack and all that good stuff. Along the way we stopped at Dunkin Donuts for Jaime to get her ‘happy juice’ and we got to see a little woodchuck beside the drive-thru, then Shaws to pick up some lobster rolls. We gassed up at Irving in Holden hoping for some broccoli and cheddar bites but like always they were out. Luckily the Ellsworth one didn’t let me down, they’re usually pretty well stocked there, and I also got a BBQ rib sandwich and some onion rings. We like to stop at Mardens and eat in the parking lot there like we used to do on Jaime’s lunches back when it was Walmart.

      Our first stop of the day was to an off-trail waterfall I went to last year that we’ll call Eagle Cascade. Its not even a tenth of a mile off the carriage road around Eagle Lake but its not quite visible from the path so its rarely visited. But we hate walking along carriage roads so we parked at a viewing area and followed the stream downhill which is a bit more difficult but actually a lot shorter in distance, and much prettier. There are tons of small waterfalls along the way, giving it a very serene atmosphere. During times of low water, like right now, its fun to rock hop down the stream.


    Unfortunately, Eagle Cascade isn’t much to look at during times of low water. I was hoping to make it there during the snow runoff when it would be a raging torrent but with most of the park closed until late April and the fact that the snow melted months ago, no such luck. We’re going to try to make it after a heavy rain one day so we can see it at its full potential. But it was beautiful nonetheless. Its only about ten feet high but the water pours right over a sheer rock face making it a true waterfall.

    From there we walked down the carriage road a couple tenths of a mile to the abandoned ruins on Eagle Lake, a place I’ve visited a couple times, once with my parents and again with Brian and Stephanie, but never with Jaime. Just a couple hundred feet off the carriage road is what remains of a house that was going to be built on the lakeshore. It was never completed but the stone arches and pillars remain of what would have been the foundation. Other than that, nothing else is known about this mysterious location…  

     Until now. Jaime wanted to get some pictures and video of me on top of the arches. I used a small tree to help me climb the wall which is becoming fragile and starting to crumble. After getting some pictures of Jaime popping her head up over the stone wall like a gopher, a rock came loose. Beside the loose stone, I noticed a small crack in the mortar between stones. There was a piece of paper in it, folded up tightly. We figured it was nothing but had to get it out anyway, just to see because we could feel something special. Using a couple small sticks as tweezers, we managed to wiggle the paper out. It was a poem written in ink on old weather worn paper, giving some insight as to why the arches are there, a shrine dedicated to a lost love. I will post more about it on my Leave The World Below blog. This was truly an amazing discovery.

   We jogged back along the carriage road and followed the stream uphill back to our car. Originally we were planning on exploring the side of Mt Champlain like we did a few times last year in search of the Hanging Steps. We found so many awesome places along the mountainside we wanted to go back for further exploration but Jaime was kind of beat after our first adventure. So we parked along the road and I took a quick solo trip to the Hanging Steps to make sure they were all still intact after the winter. They were as glorious as ever. I can’t believe we searched and searched for something that was literally right there. But all the cool places we found along the way were well worth it.


    Continuing along the park loop road we stopped at Hunter’s Head, a landmark on old maps that is hardly mentioned today. I first read about it late last year but never made it. After scouring the internet and finding practically nothing except for a couple cool photos, I figured today was as good a day as any to explore. With a rough idea of where to look, we parked at a viewing area and I walked down through the woods towards the ocean. It didn’t take much exploration to find what I was looking for. Beyond a recently fallen tree there was a small rockslide leading into a giant chasm that split the enormous rock cliff in half, the waves of the ocean crashing more than fifty feet below.


     While making a failed attempt at descending the giant chasm down the rockslide and jagged cliffs, I heard voices nearby. A father and his two daughters were exploring the area as well and informed me that it was indeed possible to go down into the giant chasm, they’d just come from there. It was nice to see a family enjoying nature without being glued to their phones. The tide was beginning to come in though so I’d have to hurry.


      A little free-climbing later I was at the base of Hunters Head, looking into the deep chasm. I’ve never been one for rock climbing but lately I’ve found myself doing it more and more in order to get to cool places and jaw dropping views. To get into the gorge required walking across some seaweed that’s submerged during high tide, which I hate doing because its so slippery but it’d been so long since the tide went out that it wasn’t too bad. Using the timer on my camera I was able to get some great shots of me at the mouth of the chasm. I just started using the timer function a week ago while taking pictures of my closet shelving system and I’m really enjoying it, it beats the hell out of selfies. The giant crack in the cliff was completely dry at the end of it where the water hadn’t touched in hours but with the tide rolling in I didn’t hang around too long. Its an otherworldly, rugged placed, kind of like Thunder Hole on steroids.

I found an easier way up the cliff, no free climbing this time around, the way the family I met told me to go. Hey, I would have but I was short on time so took the most direct route. The ledges that make up Hunters Head are much more jagged and weather worn than the rest of the Acadia shoreline, giving it a more wild feel. I’d actually always wanted to explore that area after seeing it from Little Hunter’s Beach but being a kid at the time, it was a little too far for me to wander off to. After hearing about it Jaime decided she had to see it too. We took the easier way but while sliding down the jagged rocks she ended up with quite the hole in the butt of her pants. We joked about her butt-hole being torn the rest of the day. She didn’t quite make it inside of the chasm but got to see it from the outside and from above.
  
    Rather than drive through Bar Harbor, which probably would have been pretty quiet anyway, we did the rest of the loop road and got to see a couple deer along the way. One of them stopped by our car and posed for us so Jaime got some good pictures. I went to Mardens on our way through Ellsworth and got some snacks. And after smelling the ocean air all day Jaime decided she had to have steamers for supper so we picked up three pounds just before the seafood counter closed. Well, not ‘we’, I did, Jaime had a huge hole in her butt that wouldn’t be appropriate to show off in the grocery store. We’re both a bit sore now but it was well worth it. A great way to kick off the hiking season.

New Toy Acquisitions

       Wooo! My Masters Of The Universe Slime Pit just arrived. Yes I already have two of them, one being the Slime Pit I had as a child, the one that kinda scared me a bit, okay a lot, so my parents had to throw away the slime. I remember seeing a display of them at the grocery store once, yes Masters Of The Universe was so popular it was carried not only in toy stores but supermarkets and pharmacies as well, and although I loved seeing the Slime Pit so prominently displayed I had to hide behind the shopping cart. The artwork is amazing and I always wished I kept the box. Over the years parts of mine broke or got lost so a year or two ago I bought one that I thought was complete at the Toy Vault. It turns out it was missing one small piece at the top of the skull so I was going to buy that piece on EBay but while searching for it I spotted a listing for not only the complete Slime Pit but the box as well. I could have bid on it for $50 or bought it at the ‘buy it now’ price for $60 which isn’t bad at all because I was looking to buy the box alone for about that price. Jaime being the awesome wife she is said ‘fuck it, its ten dollars, buy it now’. Three days later and it has arrived. This thing is beautiful, well, ya know its creepy and scary looking but in a beautiful way. 

      On Tuesday I went through my box of Transformers I brought in from the shed to see which ones I want to sell and what ones are going on display. One of my favorites was always Devastator, the giant robot that the six Constructicons combined together to form. I had all six of them but was never good at transforming the damn things so I never actually got to assemble the construction vehicles. Finally, twenty-five years later, I gathered all the parts and built Devastator. He looks amazing but would have been rather hard to play with because he’s rather fragile. But he’ll look incredible on display. Another life goal complete.



    Almost ten years ago when we were poor and I had to resort to selling off some of my collections I sold some stuff I still sort of regret. One of those collections was the Thundercats. I had gone back and watched some of the original cartoon and quite honestly it sucked, so I sold the figures, not really being a fan anymore. Then the remake came out around 2010 and oh my god that shit was off the chain. Unfortunately it wasn’t very popular so the toyline ended prematurely and most of the figures were never made. I would have collected those but since most of my favorites didn’t get made it was pointless. But I did keep a couple of my old ones, Lion-O and both versions of Mumra, as well as Mongor who wasn’t with the rest of the collection so got kept accidentally and Driller who was not only my favorite but also pretty rare. The lower half of his body consists of three detachable pieces that form a drill. I only had two of the pieces but knew I had the third somewhere. Even as a kid I had that problem, one of the pieces was always missing. So I decided not to sell him figuring I’d find the other part eventually. Ten years later, I finally found it mixed in with the Dino-Riders I just brought back from my parent’s house a few weeks ago. Driller is now complete and what I thought was a $75 figure is actually worth about $200. But he’s not going anywhere other than my display shelf next to his other remaining Thundercat buddies.

      And speaking of Dino-Riders, while going through my box of parts I began assembling the T-Rex. You see, the Rulons would put intricate weapons systems on the carnivores and control them for their evil purposes. The intricate weapons systems consist of tons of small parts that break easily and commonly get lost. I’m about halfway there with the T-Rex but am missing a few integral parts of the $500 set. Yep, the armored Tyrannosaurus Rex is worth that much, not that I plan on selling him. I’ve found a few of the parts I need on EBay but haven’t ordered any yet. Krulos, the leader of the Rulons, still needs his gun turret perch to stand on so the hunt for Dino-Riders accessories begins.


    And even though I put it in one of my other blog posts, I also got Razor Ramon from the Wrestlemania series of WWE figures and Sycho Sid from the WWE Elite line of figures. I found both of them at the Toys R Us in Manchester CT a few weeks ago. The other figure I was really looking for was Sasha Banks. But I couldn’t find her anywhere so I eventually ordered her from Ringside Collectibles, the next day I found her at Walmart, two of them actually so I could keep one in package and take the other out. So now I have three Sashas. It’s a good thing she’s so awesome.

      Last night I told Jaime I was mad because the next batch of stuff I’m selling on EBay didn’t have bids yet, I was hoping to make enough on there to buy this extremely rare Skeletor figure that someone just listed. I only had $60 left from my EBay money and the figure is $60, I didn’t want to spend it all on one figure with Jaime’s birthday only a month away. She said “isn’t that the figure on your Christmas wish list, you’re getting it, now, go out there, get your computer and order it immediately before its gone”. Who could say no to that? So I ordered my 12” rotocast Skeletor figure from the 200x Masters Of The Universe vs. The Snakemen line. They were made right before the line ended so the only two figures in that style are Skeletor and He-Man in his snake armor which I also need. Yes, need. Skeletor looks amazing, the entire 200x series was incredible and in my opinion easily the best line of action figures ever produced. So the only thing better than a perfect 6” Skeletor is one twice that size. Can’t wait for him to arrive. I have the best wife ever.

Closet Display System

    Since getting back from CT Tuesday night, I’ve spent most of my time working on the new closet system in my studio. At work we recently got in some beautiful boards by Rubbermaid for those organizational tracking systems a lot of people install in their closets. It gave me the idea to do one in mine but not for organization, for an action figure display. I have way too many that are stored in bins or out in the shed because I don’t have room to put them. Well I want to see my toys damn it, so redone closet, here we come.

   On Thursday morning I stopped thinking about it and finally got my ass in motion. The hardest part of this whole process was actually moving everything in order to make room in my closet to do anything. A few months back I put my dressers in there which was pretty cool except for the fact that they were about an inch too wide, making it extremely difficult to open the drawers. So those had to come out in order to install my new shelving system. To get the two dressers out and into their new location meant moving my cabinet and lingerie chest which no does not contain any lingerie, that’s just what it’s called you pervs, but moving those to their new locations meant moving my bookcase and coffee table which is a really interesting square piece with multiple compartments on each side. While moving the furniture I decided to lay out my new rug as well which meant  spinning my old one around and sliding it over to the other side of the room.



         With so much to do I got up when Jaime left for work at 8:30 and got a move on. With my plan in place as to where to move everything and what order I needed to do it to be most efficient, I got to work. Not wanting to empty everything, I moved most of the furniture without removing anything which made things heavier but took a lot less time. Working out has definitely paid off because I moved everything without even using the hand-truck and somehow got it all in its new home before going to work at 1:00. The night we left for vacation I bought the entire case of 4 foot boards from work not wanting to miss out but on Thursday I decided to get the 3 foot ones as well. They both come five in a case and I figure I’ll just return whatever I don’t use.

   We normally have Friday off together but due to Jaime’s promotion, sometimes she has to work Friday now so I had the day to myself. Again I got going right away, woke up early and began putting up the shelving system. I was planning on using the electric drill to screw the upright tracks into the studs but it turns out I don’t have the proper drill bit so by hand it is. Amazingly I had the right number of tracking pieces and they were all the right size, not bad for a $10 bundle I picked up at the Norwich Goodwill in CT.

    The only problem I ran into was that the closet wall was bowed out in one area making it damn near impossible to screw the tracking system in. I had to use my shoulder to push against the wall with all my strength while screwing it in, and admittedly broke a sweat, might have come close to passing out too seeing as how I hadn’t even had breakfast yet. But I got all the tracks up and wrote down all the pieces I needed to complete the system before Jaime got up for work.

    I brought her in and hit Lowes and Home Depot to see who had the best prices. And of course I went to all the thrift shops as usual and didn’t buy anything, and still no Sasha Banks figure anywhere. We’re a little behind in Maine though, no one even had the set of figures that she comes in. So the search for Sasha continues.

    I met up with Jaime on her lunch and we had Subway at the park. Then I went back to Lowes and Home Depot to buy the parts I scoped out earlier. A good $60 later I had the brackets and rod for my closet as well as the wire shelving I had them cut to the exact right size.

     So it turns out they didn’t cut the shelving to the exact right size, in fact they were almost an inch and a half shorter than I asked for. Not feeling like going back for a third time I removed the tracking and slid it over so they’d fit. But, the screw wouldn’t go into the stud which means there was probably a knot in it, right where I needed the screw to go. So I attached the proper drill bit onto my electric drill and found out that the cord was a good two feet too short. With no extension cord in the house I connected a couple power strips together and there you go, I got my extra two feet and drilled through the damn knot in the stud. Power tools sure do make things easier.

    With all the parts in place I began resting the wooden shelves on their pretty architectural brackets. One major problem; they were crooked. Dumbass here forgot that the holes on the tracking had to line up exactly. Turns out they were all perfect, except for the one that was damn near impossible to do thanks to the wall bulging out. So rather than redo that one, I redid the others. Luckily with the drill it wasn’t too bad.

    The little piece of tracking I got was just the right size to fit above the compartment for the water heater, the 20 inch piece of wire shelving I had them cut came out right and fit in perfectly. The coat rack rod system thingy went in without any problems, I still have room beneath my coats to put two plastic totes, and I finally have a permanent home for all my jackets. I have about ten. And the wire shelf above the coat rack is just the right size for my box of extra tools.

    After adjusting the tracking and actually using my level this time, which to be fair I couldn’t have done before because I didn’t have the brackets to lay the shelves on, I got everything up properly and it looks amazing. However, dumbass strikes again and for some reason only bought three of the six inch brackets when I actually needed four. Granted I was just getting them on a trial basis to make sure it would work, why I only bought three is beyond me. And originally I was going to do only two of the four foot shelves but it turns out I can fit three so I needed two more architectural brackets as well. And wouldn’t you know that the architectural brackets were at one store, the plain bracket at the other.

  So on my way to pick up Jaime from work I went to Lowes which is where I needed to go anyway to return the wire shelf they screwed up. But before leaving I realized I would need to return all three pieces that the shelf was cut into, one of those pieces being the one that fit perfectly above the coats, that now had the full coat rack on it. Whatever, I’m not taking it back down so I’ll just keep the other two parts and use them in the shed or something. Then I picked up Jaime on time with a couple minutes to spare and ran over to Home Depot before they closed to get my other bracket. Then to Walmart to pick up some more kitty litter, our little fur baby loves a certain kind, luckily it’s the cheapest on the market but it also sells out quickly so when we see it, we get a bunch. Jaime wanted Chilis for supper and after my long day I was ready to sit down and take a break and I can never say no to Chilis. So I got my favorite meal there, the honey chipotle chicken crispers with fries and corn on the cob. My mouth’s watering now just thinking about it.

    I put up the new brackets and laid the shelves on them. Its looking exactly how I had envisioned. With the 200x series Castle Grayskull on the floor below the shelves, it looks like I’ll be able to fit a third three foot shelf in there which is awesome so I just need two more of the plain brackets for that. And I think I’ve decided to not do the wire shelving on the right side above the bookcase and just get some boards that match the four footers and continue the display shelving all the way over. I didn’t think it would be visible so displaying stuff there would be pointless but you can actually see it from most points in the room and I always have more cool toys I want to look at.

    I may have ‘pulled a Matt’ a couple of times but overall it went smoothly and everything fit exactly as I had anticipated, a little better even. Now with the extra boards that I got from work and planned on returning, I got a few ideas for those. The rearranging of the studio continues. More shelves it is.

    And before I post this I need to add one thing, while out today getting some more shelving for the studio I checked Walmart to see if they got in the new set of WWE figures and for once I was in luck, they just put them out. I finally got my Sasha Banks figure! Two of them for $10 a piece, one to leave in package and one to take out. And naturally this happens the night after the $23 one I bought online shipped out. Ah well, I guess I’ll have three. And now I have a new tracking system to put Castle Grayskull and Snake Mountain on as well as a new shelf to display my out of package collection of WWF Hasbro figures on. We’ll get into that in my next post.

Spring Trip To CT

    With the crazy weather this Spring we decided not to go to NH for vacation. And it’s a good thing we didn’t seeing as how they just got hit with a second winter which would not have been cohesive to hiking. So although that sucks, we got to go to CT instead and spend Wrestlemania weekend with my family.

    We left after work on Thursday night which ended up being 10:00, making for a very late night drive. Knowing this in advance we planned on sleeping in that morning but unfortunately were not able to because my car stopped working the night before. Turns out it was the alternator so we were back to having one car for the day while it got fixed, something we haven’t done in over a year now. But the ride ended up not being bad at all, I barely even got tired. We spent most of the trip talking after eating our Burger King on the road. With only one bathroom break we made it there in just over five hours and didn’t run into any bad weather until the bottom of Massachusetts but still not too bad. And then it didn’t stop raining our entire vacation, except for when it turned into snow.

    On Friday morning I decided to go hunt down an old friend of mine I hadn’t seen in years. Andy was one of the last of the crew to stick by me when the rest walked away. I didn’t actually expect to find him but he happened to be home that morning so we hung out for awhile, just catching up. He truly is a musical genius and the best guitarist I’ve ever known so it’s good to hear he’s still working on music, we’ve produced hundreds of songs together and it looks like we’ve still got hundreds more to go.

    That evening we went to the Buckland Hills Mall to meet up with my cousin for supper at Outback Steakhouse, we don’t have one up here. We left a little early to do some shopping and begin my hunt for the Sasha Banks figure that just came out, in CT that is, Maine’s a little behind the times. Sasha Banks is a WWE wrestler and this is her first figure if you didn’t know. We didn’t find her at Target but we did find a bunch of discounted Easter candy that we probably shouldn’t have bought but did anyway. No Sasha at Big Lots or Toys R Us either but I did find two other brand new WWE figures, two of my favorites, Sycho Sid and Razor Ramon. So I snatched up both of them and we met up with Beckah for dinner. We hadn’t seen her in a couple years so it was really nice to catch up, she’s awesome and has always been my favorite cousin. I was supposed to eat light so I could grab second dinner at the Cajun Café in the mall food court, something I didn’t remember until we were almost home. I was willing to say screw it and just get my Cajun another time but Jaime, being the amazing wife she is, made me turn around and drive back to get my favorite food in the world. We planned on staying up until my sister got home from work that night so we could watch the NXT Dallas special on the WWE network. But we might have accidentally gotten awfully comfy and fell asleep around 10:30.

   

     On Saturday we all piled in the car and headed out to the malls in MA and RI, something that’s become tradition every time we’re down. The hot dogs at Spike’s Junkyard Dogs were amazing as usual but I didn’t find anything I needed at either Toy Vault. Most of my collections are nearing completion so its getting more difficult to find those few remaining hard to find pieces, not to mention expensive. And still no Sasha Banks figure, sold out everywhere we went. Luckily the hot dogs made everything alright.

     That night my man C-Note came by to kick it and work on some music. We’ve been friends since fifth grade, he was actually supposed to move up here to Maine with us, his bedroom was going to be what is now the studio. We talk online all the time but haven’t seen each other since I moved and he didn’t. It was great to catch up with him but he was a little too intoxicated to really record anything serious. It’s sad to me to see someone drinking when you know they don’t need it. He’s always been one of the coolest, funniest, most down to earth and carefree people I’ve ever known. We’ve done some great music together and will do so again, just not that night. Kind of disappointing.

    On Sunday we planned on going to the outdoor flea market at the Mansfield drive-in and then an indoor one Jaime and I went to last year that had some coin collector displays my dad would enjoy. But after shoveling out two inches of snow in 50 mph winds, we decided to skip the flea market that probably wouldn’t have even been open. So we went to visit my grandmother and uncle with my dad. Grandma loves making meals for people so she served a late Easter dinner consisting of ham, potatoes, kielbasa and sauerkraut and then some cookies and pie for desert. We went to Goodwill afterwards on our way to the Crystal Mall where I found a brand new pair of jeans that will need some hemming before I can wear them and also the upright tracking system for the studio closet I’m getting ready to do. I was looking to spend roughly a hundred dollars just on the tracking pieces alone but I got a bundle of it there for only $10. I could barely believe my eyes, it was exactly what I was looking for, down to the number of pieces I needed. Still nothing at the third and final Toy Vault though and no Sasha Banks anywhere.

    We got home just in time for the Wrestlemania festivities. Mom and Julie picked out the fruit and veggie platters and made some dip for the chips. Everything was delicious and Wrestlemania was actually really good despite a poor buildup to it. We watched most of the two hour pre-show and then the actual event itself lasted nearly five hours so that was a lot of wrestling. But it was awesome to see AJ Styles at his first Wrestlemania, he’s been one of my favorites for over a decade now and I didn’t honestly think we’d ever see him in a WWE ring. Watching Zack Ryder win the ladder match to capture the Intercontinental belt was insane, I certainly didn’t see that one coming. And of course seeing my all time favorite Shawn Michaels make a surprise appearance was great, even better, he was wearing his ring attire, something I didn’t expect to see again after his retirement about five years ago. And even though Sasha Banks didn’t win the women’s belt she still had one of if not the best match of the night, plus a pretty cool entrance with Snoop Dogg performing her theme song. Overall it was a tremendous show and one of the best in years.

     For Monday we originally planned on doing some hiking. Instead we did some shoveling. Six inches of snow. Six inches! Jaime didn’t leave the house all day but after my sister got back from class, the four us went to my parents’ favorite Chinese buffet. It was delicious and worth the slow drive in the snow. Luckily the buffet is only a couple minutes down the road. Monday night was reserved for Monday Night Raw, the night after Wrestlemania Raw is known for being the best and most unpredictable of the year. Although there wasn’t much for surprise returns, it was still one hell of a show and fun to watch, I don’t usually get to watch it live when its happening.

    Before leaving on Tuesday we went to the Buckland Mall again, this time with my parents to eat at TGI Fridays and pick up some Cajun food to go for me. We don’t have a TGI Fridays up here but they always play the commercials so we’ve been wanting it for awhile now. It’s as good as the commercials make it sound. Mom made fun of me for getting a salad but it was so good I didn't care. And then I got two boxes of Cajun to take home with me, plus the one I still had from Friday night. Excessive? Maybe a little but you’ll understand if you ever get the chance to try it.

    We left early in the afternoon which meant daytime driving. It beats the hell out of driving nearly six hours at night. We stopped in Portland on our way home but as usual didn’t buy anything, except for a couple cookie sandwiches from Mrs. Fields. So we didn’t come home with much more than some food. I did bring back my Dino Riders from my parent’s basement as well as my old bar bell and some weights. The only thing that sucked more than the bad weather was not seeing more of my friends and getting to record. I was hoping to see Concept, Gambino, Santo and Larysa to hang out and work on some music but things didn’t exactly go according to plan. I kind of knew that would happen since I put so much time and effort into getting their tracks all ready to record. A part of me misses my old lifestyle, the rest of me doesn’t miss working around other people. I hate being let down and unfortunately, that’s what people do.

    All in all, it was a good trip. It could have been better had the weather cooperated but we had fun. It would have been nice to see a few more people and gotten some music done but oh well, I’m not really a rapper anymore anyway. I hope to someday be able to make it back home more than twice a year, there’s still so much I want to see and do in that area.

Ten Years Later

    I don’t know, it feels like a fitting day to write a blog post. MySpace was finally able to recover my old posts from 2006 so I just saved all of those and skimmed over a few of them. Wow, I just realized that was ten years ago. So much has changed since then, just in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I was still hoping to make it as a rapper, no, hoping isn’t the right word. I was actively pursuing it, believing the dream was still attainable. I was finding myself. The lifestyle I had spent years living disconnected me from who I had always been, a person I no longer wanted to be, or more accurately, couldn’t be. I changed parts of me to accommodate the world I was living in. But come 2006, I wasn’t living in that world anymore. Finally able to let my guard down, I took the opportunity to find what I’d lost.

    Ten years later, I’m not where I’d hoped I’d be. In fact I’m no closer to those goals than I was then. Part of me is okay with that, then of course there is and always will be that part of me that wants to achieve the dreams I set for myself so long ago. But in all honesty I don’t want to be part of the music industry anymore, at least not as a career. It’s finally become what perhaps it should have always been, a hobby. But it wasn’t a hobby. It was a lifestyle. It was a lifestyle that saved me and made me who I am. Which is why I still rap today, because I owe it my life. And even though I didn’t make it, it made me.

    Life is good and most importantly, I’m happy. Truly happy. At this time next week we’ll be driving down to CT which we’re excited about. We’ll have five days down there and about ten days worth of stuff to squeeze into it including watching Wrestlemania with my sister and parents, going to a couple flea markets, a few malls, visiting family and friends, doing a photo shoot or two and recording some tracks with my Royal Kingdom brothers, maybe even going on some hiking adventures if we have the time. I can’t wait.

    I recently got a couple raises at work and Jaime just got a promotion that came with a raise so we’re doing quite well financially. It’s a great feeling. We’ve worked so hard for it and earned it after years of struggling yet in a way I feel guilty. It’s a strange feeling because everyone around us is living paycheck to paycheck like we once did, trying to figure out how they’re going to pay their bills and still afford to eat. I don’t want to make them feel bad so I try not to talk about it and find myself feeling guilty when I accidentally let something slip. When I was dirt poor, the last thing I wanted to hear was someone else brag about having money. When someone at work mentioned something being half my paycheck, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I actually make double what she thinks I do.

    So on a side note, I’ve had time to start really cleaning up my studio and getting rid of stuff I don’t need lately. Usually time I would want to spend doing that kind of thing I spend doing dishes and laundry and all the other stuff that piles up but recently we got a maid. Well, sort of, our friend Stephanie loves cleaning so we pay her to come over once a week and do the chores for us. The freedom it gives me is well worth it. The stuff she does is everything I used to start with when cleaning, but now that its already done, I’m able to move on to the other stuff I never had the time or energy to get to. It’s been a month and a half and we’ve cleaned out six or seven totes of stuff, plus I completely rearranged two rooms.

    Not having to clean has also provided me the spare time needed to exercise before work. So we turned the spare bedroom into a home gym. I even got a second weight bench, this one is for heavier weights and my old is for lighter weights but more reps. I set up the new bench a week ago and its paying off already. On the old light weight bench I have an 85 pound bar for presses, curls and a few other moves I couldn’t name if I tried but for months I was trying to hit 40 presses in a row. A week ago I hit it, on Monday I made it to 43, yesterday was 45 and this morning I hit 50. I’ve also been doing some plyometrics, which is a standing vertical leap, I’ve come pretty far in the past month or so as I’m at about 37 inches, just over three feet. And they say white men can’t jump.

    Another reason today felt like a good day to do a blog entry is because I recorded a song for the first time in, holy shit, since February 10 of 2015. It’s been over a year. Wow. So not only did I lose my rapping virginity today, yeah like sex if you haven’t done it in a year it pretty much makes you a virgin again, this was my first time recording on my new digital recorder, the one I’ve always wanted. Alright so I didn’t really do a whole song, I only recorded one verse but it’s a two minute verse I wrote a couple days ago for a song that doesn’t even have a title yet. But it’s set for the Lost In The Light album and will hopefully feature my man Concept on the second verse. This track addresses the racism that white people haven’t been doing a good job of hiding lately. As a white person born and raised in a black and Spanish culture, the remarks I hear on a daily basis from these racist ass redneck crackers up here have been pissing me off. This song lets out some of that aggression. Racism is alive and well in America and unfortunately I only see it getting worse. The fact that white people are still calling my brothers, yes my brothers, niggers and spics is sickening in a way I can’t even put into words. You almost expect it coming from our elders, but to hear my generation and younger using slurs like that in a demeaning manner is unacceptable. I fear for mankind.

    Onto the next topic before I get myself all riled up this late at night. Despite having time to do some deep cleaning, I haven’t had enough time to lay the new rug in the studio. I bought an incredibly soft rug almost a month ago now, I touched it and just had to have it. After rearranging the studio I realized I would need a second carpet because more of the floor is exposed with the new set up but to find one as soft as the one I already have in there would be nearly impossible. That is, until this one came along. It’s like a modern shag carpet, nearly an inch deep, tan and brown. But I’ll have to lift some furniture in order to rotate the other rug and then lay this one. And then a week or so ago, I found the matching runner for it, exact same material. So that one will go in the hallway. I have always loved super soft carpeting.

    Aside from the new rugs and weight bench, I also added a couple new pieces to my action figure collection. I got a Skeletor repaint from the 200x Masters Of The Universe line known as ‘blood’ Skeletor because his armor is a deep shade of red. Jaime got me the out of package figure for Christmas two years ago (the ultimate Christmas of 2014), which is the one I really wanted because he was one of the last few figures I needed to complete the collection but when I saw him in package for a good price I put in my bid and to my surprise actually won. And then, I recently purchased a piece of the Masters Of The Universe holy grail, Grayskull Tower from the Eternia playset. It was the only He-Man playset I didn’t have as a child, the last one ever made. Today they go for thousands of dollars. The set is huge, consisting of three towers, one standing three feet tall, with a working monorail connecting them all. I’ve never even laid my eyes on this playset in real life. I’ve been keeping an eye out for the separate towers for years now, waiting for a good deal. The cheapest I’ve ever seen is $65 so when I saw Grayskull tower at $45, I snatched it up. Granted its just the tower, none of the accessories, it doesn’t matter, it’s beautiful. It sat in the living room for a week before taking up residency on the bathroom counter. Some people have a vase with flowers, I have Grayskull Tower. The problem is now I want the dungeon door that mine is missing, and the other two towers. They’re hard to come by, so the search continues.

    In closing, I want to dedicate this to my dear friend Chrislynn Mierez who would have turned 32 today. It’s only been ten months but I miss you and hope to see you in my dreams again soon.

Year In Review (2015)

    A year ago I vowed to do anything in my power to make 2015 as good as 2014 was for us. 2014 was the first good year we’d had in a long time, maybe the first ever. You see, I’ve always been plagued with bad luck which makes it hard to have a good year. I’m beyond overjoyed to say 2015 was just as good as and perhaps better than 2014.

    It started off when we bought a car from Jaime’s father. Only having one vehicle was getting rather tough with us working on opposite sides of town. In the summer I walked to work which sucked because I would sweat before even starting my shift but in the winter walking wasn’t safe with the snow and ice so I would call a cab. I hate having to rely on other people and using a cab is doing exactly that, so sometimes they’d forget to come or show up late. When her father was getting rid of his second vehicle, we jumped on it and I now drive my own car to work, back to relying on no one, the way I like it. It gives us so much more freedom and makes life a lot easier.

    But this year’s adventures truly began when the snow finally started melting in April. We took a trip down to CT to visit my family for Easter, not realizing it was Easter when we requested the days off. We went to a couple flea markets on Easter Sunday, didn’t actually buy anything but it was cool nonetheless since one of them was a huge indoor flea market we’d never been to before. Later that day I did my first hike of the season, an off trail variation of one I’ve done dozens of times. My family started doing the Bailey’s Ravine trail in Franklin CT back in the early 90’s, a nice loop hike with a steep hill at the beginning before leveling off, crossing a small waterfall, going down a steep hill and then ending beside another more impressive set of falls. One time we followed the brook downstream from the smaller one heading towards the larger waterfall at the bottom of the ravine but had to turn back when there were ledges on both sides of the stream with no way to cross it. This time I started at the larger waterfall closer to the road and traveled up the ravine, avoiding pockets of snow and ice, rock hopping across the water, tight roping back and forth over logs, and eventually coming out at the smaller waterfall at the start of the ravine. It was a great way to start my hiking season, completing an off trail adventure I’d always dreamed of doing.

    We also spent a day with my parents going to a couple malls in Massachusetts and Rhode Island so I could go to the Toy Vault, a store that carries old action figures. They have three locations in Southern New England and we visited all three of them on our Easter trip. I bought some awesome figures that are still on display in the living room. The MA and RI ones are a little difficult to get to but the other one is in the Crystal Mall, just a little ways down the highway from my grandmother’s house.

    Myself, Jaime, Dad and my Uncle Paul went to check out a place called Devil’s Hopyard not far from my grandmother’s house in the Norwich area. The waterfall was raging with the melting snow but what we were really looking for was a cave known as Devil’s Den. As a kid I remember crawling into a small circular cave with my Castle Grayskull flashlight along a steep hillside. We thought this was possibly the one judging by the pictures I found online but it turned out to barely even be a cave. We had fun anyway. And as it turns out, the waterfall was one I’d remembered from my childhood and had been searching for.

    I woke up early one morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep so decided to hit the streets of Willimantic to take some pictures for my website. I’d been wanting some artistic pictures of the streets of my hometown for one of the poetry pages on my website and I got exactly what I was hoping for. I got some great photos of the foot bridge, Main St, Cameo Drive, Chapman St and the Ivey Garden projects. I also got some nice pictures of Windham Middle School where a few pivotal scenes in my Poverty’s Poetry novel take place. Overall it was a fantastic trip back home and a great way to really start the year.





    A few weeks later Jaime and I were at the theatre watching the new Fast and Furious when we decided to take an impromptu trip to NH for a night to see the waterfalls. Even at the tail end of April, the snow there was intense, some of the ponds were still completely frozen over. One of the waterfalls wasn’t even visible because it was covered in ice and snow. But the ones we did see were absolutely amazing. We started off by returning to Grafton Notch on the border of Maine and New Hampshire so we could try to find a few waterfalls we didn’t know about the last time we were there. Step Falls was gorgeous with a well maintained trail but the true gem was Jail Falls located down an insanely steep embankment just off the side of the road no longer marked on any maps or trail guides. Beside it was the ‘jail’ the falls got their name from which was an enormous pothole with twenty foot high walls smoothed out from years of rushing water. We were blown away by it and had quite the adventure climbing over snow and ice on the riverbank on our search. We had supper at our favorite pizza place, Mountain Fire Pizza in Gorham NH, a place we fell in love with on our vacation six months earlier and had been dreaming of ever since.

    We spent the night at Woodwards motel in Lincoln NH where we enjoyed the indoor pool and hot tub after a long day driving and hiking. The next day we visited a few waterfalls in the Lincoln area but the best was an unnamed one located on what I believe to be Waternomee Brook. I felt that if I were to follow a stream uphill I would find a waterfall before long and man was I right. It’d always been a dream of mine to follow one of the brooks that pass under the highway. In 2014 I got hooked on off trailing, in 2015 I got hooked on following streams in search of waterfalls and this was the one that truly started it.

    Two months later, towards the end of June, my parents came up to visit and we went to Acadia in search of some lost trails, something we fell in love with a year earlier. It poured on us but we didn’t let that stop the adventure as we found a hidden waterfall, a cave, a beach used by the locals and made it to the second summit of a forgotten mountain.

    A week later Jaime and I woke up early one day and decided to go to Acadia, purchase the park pass and begin our search for the Hanging Steps. It took all summer, we had tons of adventures, found lots of amazing places and finally found the steps about 100 feet away from the first place I searched. But we had a blast on all of our expeditions. We went to Acadia more times in one summer than we have in the eleven years we’ve lived here. I also went a couple times with our friends Brian and Stephanie who we split the park pass with.

    Over the summer we had a weekly cookout every Friday with friends. We got a woodchuck to move under our shed and enjoy the forest I’ve been growing in the backyard which to us is great because we absolutely love woodchucks. We bought some really nice things at yard sales, put it in a new ceiling fan in the living room, I lost close to twenty pounds through dieting and exercise and we got some cool hiking gear.

    On our weekly trips to Acadia I’ve discovered two waterfalls off trail, three boulder caves, two real caves and one on the side of a mountain with a view of the ocean, a giant tower of rocks, a dry waterfall bed through a ravine, a crumbling stone staircase with a boulder suspended above it, two trail-less mountaintops with jaw dropping views, a hidden beaver pond, three abandoned trails, a rockwall waterfall and the elusive Hanging Steps. It was one hell of a summer.



    To end it with a bang, we decided to finally pull the trigger and get a new car stereo and speakers for Jaime’s car. We’d always wanted to but were worried the car would crap out as soon as the system was installed. But one of her friends was willing to put it in for us which was more difficult than it should be because that’s just how our car works. So he did the stereo, we had Best Buy do the speakers and finally after all these years we have a booming car system. Ours was down to one working speaker so it was pretty bad. It was all installed just in time for vacation.


    Our yearly vacation to NH was almost two weeks this year. My parents came with us for the first week and the second was just me and Jaime. To sum it up, I got to go behind my first waterfall, climbed up a rockslide to a gated off mine, crossed a river and got to go into a different mine beside a waterfall for the first time in my life, went back to a cave I couldn’t make it down into nearly twenty years ago, went to an abandoned park to see a breathtaking waterfall, discovered a huge cave below a rock cliff, found a series of waterfalls along a mountain stream, climbed around on a rockslide I’ve wanted to visit since I was a kid, rock hopped up a river to a two tiered waterfall, did some free climbing on a cliff for the first time in my life, and perhaps the most exciting, started looking at homes in the White Mountains.

    After going back and forth on our decision to move to NH, we decided to stay here in Maine a little longer. Once we made that decision, we went out and bought a new sectional couch to replace the recliner we got five years ago. We’re still looking to move to NH but aren’t going to rush into it just yet for the simple fact that we’re doing so well financially here. I’ve started writing again, both books and songs. My new Stone Stairway novel is about three quarters of the way finished. I’ve written enough new songs for two albums and have started producing again, working on tracks for Gambino, Santo and Concept as well as myself. I’ve also started writing this blog as a way to record what’s going on in my life, mostly for my own benefit since no one else is going to read it.

    In mid December we took four days off to head down to CT to see my family and friends for the holidays. With Gambino coming close to getting a record deal, I decided to give him my digital recorder so he can drop more tracks to help him seal the deal. Once he signs on that dotted line, I’ll pass it on to Concept next, a way to repay them for accepting a white, insecure loser from a middle class family into their society and making me something great. They’ve stuck by me even after being gone for over a decade now. True friends are hard to come by and I’ve made some incredible ones over the years so despite them telling me I don’t, I owe them for that. I was fortunate enough to get to hang out with both of them for a night and remind me why I had friends once, why I do what I do, and to be proud of everything I’ve accomplished.

    With Jaime and my parents, we had a repeat of Easter and went to the malls again to visit the Toy Vault stores. I had birthday money to spend as well as a bonus check from work so money wasn’t an object, a far cry from the first time we stumbled upon a Toy Vault and had to use a credit card. I say had to because Jaime made me buy what I wanted there even though we really couldn’t afford it but that’s the kind of wife I have. So I bought toys at two of the three stores and had a great day with my family. Jaime bought a bunch of new clothes and boots at stores we don’t have up here in Maine and we all had hot dogs from Spike’s Junkyard Dogs at the mall in MA. In April when we came, only Jaime got one because the rest of us just ate and we’d been thinking about them for the past six months. The hot dogs were hands down the best I’ve ever had and well worth the half a year wait.

    With my sister finally being back from the mid west where she works at National Parks, we all piled into the car and went searching for a cave above an old train tunnel beside the highway. I always thought that the rock cliffs would be cool to explore and looked like they should have a cave in them and sure enough, they did. My dad had recently heard about the cave and it was indeed there, a true cave in the side of a cliff, not just a hole between boulders. We ate at Jaime’s favorite sub place which is in CT so they’re called grinders, and of course I got food from my favorite restaurant, the Cajun Grill which is really just Chinese Food in a mall food court but it’s the best ever, so we brought a few to-go boxes of it back home. We went to visit my grandmother and uncle and ate the food Grandma force fed me because that’s what grandma’s do but I didn’t mind. We had fun in CT and enjoyed the near 60 degree weather.

    So when we got back to Maine to find snow on the ground we were not impressed. But with Christmas right around the corner it was okay. We decided not to go all out like we did last year because we were in the mind frame of getting rid of stuff rather than getting new stuff, plus we were kind of out of ideas after last year. But we still both went just a little bit overboard and had a great Christmas. I bought myself a new digital recorder with a CD burner and USB port built right in. Jaime got me some Transformers, some awesome t-shirts like the ones I used to wear back in high school which yes were very cool so shut up, a new MP3 player, some geode cabinet knobs which I love because of my weird fascination with pretty rocks, and the two best gifts, a leather jacket and a Snake Armor He-Man figure. One of the presents I got her was an Amazon Firestick with a subscription to Sling TV, so we now have twenty cable channels, including her, favorite, okay fine our favorite, HGTV. I’ve never had cable before so it’s kind of a big deal for me. It’s pretty much been playing non stop since we got it.

    I didn’t think it would be possible to make 2015 better than 2014 but somehow it happened. So here’s to 2016 continuing the trend. After so many rough years, I’m grateful to be where I’m at. I don’t really feel the need to make any resolutions, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing, live the best life I possibly can and have fun doing it.

Thankful On Thanksgiving

    Five years. It’s crazy how much things can change yet I’m still no closer to where I want to be. To where I know in my heart I should be.

    It’s Thanksgiving night, 12:23, and I’m grateful. Grateful not for the things I have because I’ve worked hard for those but grateful to be happy. Because five years ago I wasn’t. On the surface, not much has changed since then, but when you peal back the layers, it’s all changed. I’ve changed.

    I’d only just started working at Ocean State Job Lot, a job I didn’t want but needed after getting fired from Toys R Us six months prior. Jaime wasn’t working at the time and we had no money coming in. My friend had moved out, leaving us with no income. We’d planned on going back to work at the Microdyne call center for Stonewall Kitchen where we’d make good money and get countless hours. But their contract fell through leaving us without our seasonal jobs. So I started putting in applications. The first one I filled out was for Ocean State Job Lot. They called me a few minutes later while I was submitting an application somewhere else and the next day I had the job.

    I hated it. With a passion. In fact I didn’t plan on going back after orientation. But for some reason I did. My second week there, I was scheduled to work the midnight shift for Black Friday. I’d always loved working Black Fridays at Toys R Us, going in super early, dealing with the crazy crowd. But having to go in for midnight would ruin the whole day. When would I even sleep? For Thanksgiving that year we got together with my mother in law and went to see Unstoppable in the theatre and then ate a late night dinner at Denny’s. It was fun, or it should have been, but the thought of going in to a job I hated for ten hours loomed over me. I tried to take a quick nap but failed miserably. Jaime turned on some crappy Christmas movie as I got ready for work, the last place I wanted to be. I actually cried while leaving that night. I wanted nothing more than to stay home, decorate the house and watch that crappy Christmas movie. It was my worst Thanksgiving ever.

    I vowed to never forget that feeling. I needed it to inspire me. To push me into writing more books and fighting to get published. Change was necessary for my survival. Depression is a horrible feeling but I pushed through it.

    A week and a half ago I passed my five year anniversary at Ocean State Job Lot. I don’t dread going there. I battled depression and won, and in the process learned how to make others smile. I always knew how to relate to people but was never the funny one that could brighten someone’s day. In these five years, that is perhaps the best quality I’ve adopted. And in doing so, I’ve learned to make myself smile instead of depending on others. Positivity goes a long ways. But when everything around you is negative, the last thing you’re able to be is positive. So it’s a catch 22 really.

    As I sit here on my new couch, a sectional, to replace the crappy recliner we got five years ago, lights on the Christmas tree brightening the room, flames from the electric fireplace crackling away, an old episode of Monday Night Raw playing on the TV thanks to the WWE Network, I feel at peace. Almost.

    Jaime’s in the bedroom, sleeping, dreading going to work tomorrow for her twelve hour shift at JC Penny, followed by two more ten hour days to round out the weekend. Today we were supposed to have a redo of our Thanksgiving five years ago with Denny’s and a movie. But she wasn’t in the mood and it disappointed me at first. Until I realized, just because I’m happy and content doesn’t mean everyone else is. She may very well be feeling what I felt all those Thanksgivings ago. I hope its not as bad as what I was feeling but would still give anything to change it.

    Its in that peace I find a feeling of contentment. In some ways, good, in others, not so much. I’m not a published author. In fact, I haven’t written a book, start to finish, in the last five years. I’ve done complete overhauls of my two completed works, a couple times actually, but nothing new. Every once in awhile I feel trapped and start writing again with a purpose, not just out of desire. It’s when you need something that you work harder for it. And right now, I hate it, but I don’t need to write. I don’t need to because I’m happy where I am, and I shouldn’t be. I’ve grown too comfortable here.

    This life is easy. And for the past year and a half that it’s been that way, I’ve been happy. Like unnaturally happy. Every day is a gift and I try to do the most with it. I’ve accomplished so much and done things I’ve always wanted to do. I love it. I love every day. Five years ago, I couldn’t see that happening. I truly couldn’t.

    I’ve built a stronger marriage with my wife. I’ve reconnected with my parents, bringing us closer together than I thought we’d ever be. I produced and recorded a new album from scratch. I rediscovered my love for hiking and have gone places I thought impossible. I’ve surprised my family with a visit on Christmas. I’ve discovered caves and found waterfalls. I’ve been to so many amazing places I’ve lost count. I collect rocks and grow trees and the list goes on and on and on. I smile. It all makes me smile. I am grateful for that. I’m crying a little bit right now, just like I was five years, but its for the completely opposite reason.

    My life isn’t what I wanted it to be. It isn’t what I fought for. It isn’t what I’d imagined. But god damn is it incredible.